i only shoot blanks

I have had a vasectomy (tubes tied) my ejaculate cum contains no sperms, cannot make you pregnant, therefore let us fuck each other silly

Hi Babe! We should get to know each other better - I only shoot blanks ...

Bummerama

Bummer = bad; Bummerama = very bad indeed.
Often pronounced with a slight pause between the syllables: Bum-er-ra-ma.

Friend: Worst day of my life. My wife ran off with my best friend.
You: Bummer
Friend: Someone stole my car.
You: Double bummer
Friend: And the dog pooped on the carpet.
You: Bummerama!

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pop a condom

1. To burst a condom. Usually caused by forgetting to hold the little teat at the end, when putting it on, to keep the air out. The subsequent, er, fast vigorous powerful rhythmic pumping action compresses the air, increasing pressure and rupturing the thin rubber.
2. To place a condom on some object, usually other than a penis.
3. To swallow a condom, usually after removing the wrapper.

1. I was banging this chick like a madman on crack when I popped the condom. Now I've got to pay child support for quadruplets.
2. Charles popped the condom on his head.
3. I'll just pop a condom ... Ulp, ughh, urrr, blechh ....