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Similar to a fire alarm, a beak alarm is often sounded in large financial institutions within the city. In order to increase productivity during the inevitable mid-afternoon slump, when sounded, employees are encouraged to stop what they are doing and snort a line of company beak.
*Alarm sounds*
PA system: "Please place yourself on do not disturb and have a line of beak ASAP."
Cal: "Quick lad it's the fucking beak alarm."
Andy: "Ahhhhh. I bloody that thing."
The inevitable self-loathing and regret that follows in the days after a cocaine binge.
Friend 1: "How you feeling today pinocchio?"
Friend 2: "Fuck me lad. Terrible. Snorters remorse has proper kicked in,"
That friend, who after a drug-fuelled bender, doesn't answer their phone for 2-3 days whilst wallowing in self-pity.
Friend 1: "Have you heard from Simon since Saturday night?"
Friend 2: "You mean Donald Slump? No. Give it a few days though."
An involuntary erection caused by scrolling through the social media accounts of Lauren Mayberry
"Bloody hell laddie, I got a right lauboner last night."
How masterbation was always intended to be. Whilst under the influence of cocaine (beaked up), the urge to jizz is often as strong as the craving for the next line. Beaked up wanks can often be prolonged (on rare occasions, even futile), but often result in an ungodly amount of jizz and feeling of general well-being.
How was your night laddie?
Oh it was great mate. I had a lovely beaked up wank and the wife was fast asleep
When the sudden urge to jizz is so overwhelming that you have to stop everything and have an emergency wank
Jesus Christ. I was at McDonald's drive-thru earlier when I had to abandon the car and run into the disabled toilets for an emergency wank. It was like I was possessed