arse end of nowhere

A place behind the middle of nowhere and below the back of beyond, which is significantly less pleasant to visit than either.

"Sorry I'm late! My car broke down in the arse end of nowhere."

45👍 9👎

shoggoth

Any impressively large and overweight goth; often glimpsed spilling out of an ill-fitting corset or waistcoat in the corner of dingy nightclubs. From the amorphous, roiling Cthulhu Mythos monster of the same name.

"Christ, I was hammered last night; woke up with {NAME} taking up most of the bed"

"Blood hell, you shagged that shoggoth! Did you lose d10 sanity for seeing them naked? If you carry on like that, you'll have to wear an Elder sign on your crotch."

(pause) "You fucking geek!"

39👍 21👎

Netto Blaster

A small electronic device not designed for playing music at anything like public address volume, used by morons to demonstrate their godawful taste in music to a rightfully ungrateful public.

Rather than offending by sheer volume as a Ghetto Blaster would, the Netto Blaster irritates by its appalling sound quality - the net result of one small speaker, a complete lack of bass, and a spotty, gurning twat with his room temperature IQ mates who don't have the good manners to sit around and talk shite like the rest of the civilised world.

Sound from other end of bus or train: "Tssh tssh tssh"

Everyone: "Oh, for fuck's sake, which nobhead is waving his Netto Blaster around?"

11👍 1👎

upfuckery

Activity or activities leading to the fucking up of something or someone.

"As usual. upfuckery abounds in my family"

"What sort of upfuckery is this?"