Virgin

Usually used to describe a post-teen ugly, unfuckable beast-like human. In women, it tends to be rare, owing to the fact that many are desperate for sex. Sadly, as sexual attractivenss of a women decreases (ie, as her body wieght increases, giant breasts not withstanding), her sex-drive increases. Eventually it gets to a point where mostly hideous feminazis are virgins "by choice". A common nick-name for unfuckable feminazis is "Camilla" or "Camilla Gorilla", the latter describing their overall imposing nature, large girth, and general (un)attractiveness. Virgins of this nature never laugh at love, sex, virginity or pretty much anything. It's serious business being a virgin.

Camilla:"That's not funny. I'm a virgin because I choose to be."

Whatever you say, Camilla Gorilla.

18👍 116👎

battlefield 2

In the beginning there was Battlefield 1942, which was an innovation in game design and gameplay, then there was Vietnam, which didn't change much but had variation between teams, in terms of firepower and vehicles. Sadly, then there was Battlefield 2 which is, a game that defies logic. Set at least 30 to 40 years after the last game, Vietnam, most infantry-based weapons have somehow devolved to do less damage, have higher recoil, and worse yet, have about as much accuracy as drunk man pissing off a skyscraper, with the intention of urinating on the moon. Almost as bad, is the fact that the weapons for the different armies all do the exact same thing, ie; same accuracy, rate-of-fire, amount of damage so that you feel more like and your foe are fighting with same weapon, except with a different skin, with only a few exceptions (sniper rifle and autoshotgun for the Middle East army). Similarly, the armies themselves (Islam fundamentalists, American Warmongeres and the Human Rights denier, the Chinese)are damn-near identical in appearance, and visual distinction between the three is usually dependent on placing the cross hair on every person on screen to see what colour their Profile-name is. Aircraft are somewhat harder to control, what with helicopter controls being inverted to the last game, there are no more ammo dumps and health depos, making players depend on support members instead of being self-suficient. This forces people to play as either the medic or support, which is the shits because their weapons are inaccurate and do little damage... just like the rest in the game. There is a noticeable lack of bots in multiplayer, which is a huge handicap in lan games where you could spend half an hour running around gigantic maps and never see anyone. Fans of the older BF games tend to avoid this and it's even worse follow-up: Battlefield 2142.

Random ea fanboy: "Want to play Battlefield 2?"
Me:"No"

12👍 21👎

Goth

Goth is a loosely defined social sub-culture. Stereotypically, goths are deep, tortured artists, listen to ambient, dark (sub-par) music and have a penchant for self-harm. Some people who follow these trends do not describe themselves as goths, while many supposed goths do not follow them at all. My brother was hanging out with two goth friends, and a bunch of skangers made fun of them, to which one of the goths replied, and in all seriousness: "I will eat their souls". Had I have been there, I would have taken some time to explain to him that Evil Dead is just a movie and, also, the Necronomicon is not real. It IS true that Goths typically see themselves as unique individuals, although, to describe oneself as such and yet be part of an entire sub-culture essentially makes the term "goth" an oxymoron. The plus side to gothic fashion, is that it allows for naturaly beautiful women to show off curves and such. The flip-side of this is that fat women think this is ok for them to dress like that also, and dress in tight, ultra-revealing and lacy clothing which is gauranteed to give many men impotency for at least a month. All male goths look stupid, without exception. Male goths see the crow and emulate his appearance, without realisng that gothic fashion only looks cool on men in films because it makes them look dramatic. In real-life, there is far less drama and even less action to allow giant leather trenchcoats, black metal-esque make-up to work.

I was going to type up a huge list of frequent gothic misconceptions, beliefs and lies and the contradictions and discrimination that comes with them, but someone has already done this for me, but forgot to add why every single thing he/she said is a lie. If you have read the extremely offensive and discriminating, lengthy pseudo-facts about goths and the difference between the chav sub-culture, I think you'll know where I'm going with this. I'll cover the most important of his or her's misinformation (I'll ignore his/her spelling mistakes which automatically deduct from his/her credibility, at least on the whole stereotypical "goths are intelligent" thing).

"In the morning, a goth will ask themselves “what do I want to wear?” whilst a chav will ask themselves “what in this selection of clothes is the most acceptable thing to wear?” "

This fails to point out the fact that, being a goth, he/she is similarly limited in clothing just as the chav is, only being a goth, he/she has tried to give a different reason for this.

"A goth will listen to music that is meaningful to their life and thought provoking, a chav will listen to music which will tell him how to behave. "
This one ignores the fact that goth music itself is typically centered around a limited subject matter, and avoids discussing how "chav music" tells people how to behave.

The next paragraph, hilariously, contains several goth cliches, we are all doomed, life is pointless, blah-blah-blah, ignoring how other people may not think so, proving how close-minded he/she really is. Also he/she calls non-goths fools for not conforming to his/her point of view.

Then, the money shot: "I treat others as I wish to be treated myself"
Yes that's right, after making a gigantic entry belittling chavs and non-goths, for, incredibly, not conforming to his/her beliefs, and moaning that no-one undertands him/her, he/she commits the ultimate hypocrisy and states that he/she treats everyone as she would want to be treated. Hmm. Does this means he/she likes being told he/she is inferior, unoriginal and uncreative?

"As a goth, all you various ‘rude’ forms of life make me sick. Goth is what the individuals do- and as for the idea of the wannabe goth these either revert to conformity or evolve.(I mean slipknot/korn fans, as for manson fans I think those who say he isn’t gothic just don’t know enough about him- sure listening to manson WILL NOT make you gothic, but give that poor dark philisophical soul some credit! He’s certainly not gonna un-goth you!)"

Let me get this straight. He/she has insulted every non-goth at every step of his/her entry, and now, quite hypocritacally calls US rude. Oh. Almost forgot the insertion of the common misconception that goths are intelligent and dark and philisophical. And the even-more frequent mis-conception that Manson is a good musician. No-one older than 17 listens to him, by the way.

Finally:
"Goths make the greatest friends. Goths have the unusual ideas. Goths just don’t suffer from the same afflictions of ‘normality’ as you self-mirroring lot- change for once. down with mediocrity."

I have the greatest friends on the planet. They are always there for me, they listen to my problems, they listen to different music, have interests and expertise in different things, they don't even fit into a sub-culture. What makes your goth friends so much better than mine?

Unusual ideas? At no-where have you stated why, or provided evidence why this is:
A:Only inherent goths or
B:Neccessarily a good thing.

Goths don't suffer from the same resrictions of normality?
This world is not the matrix and you, nor any-other self-important goth are NOT neo. I love the way these people act like they don't make funny noises taking a shit like the rest of us do... "I'm so deep and -oohhuuuUUnnggaaarggh!!! " *Sploosh!*

Self-mirroring: Way to prove your intelligence, gothic-Einstein. This term literally means to mirror, dun-dun-DUUUUUH! Yourself! What? Are you saying I look like myself? Is that a bad thing? Why? Maybe I should conform to what you say and not look like myself. Ok, I just tried it now, but every time I looked in the mirror, I still just looked like me.

Mediocrity: Yes down with mediocrity! Better yet, down with self-contradiction, delusions of superiority, and discrimination towards people who do not share your fashion-statement, or "dark" philosophies!

1:
Skanger:"Hallow'een's over!"
Goth:"I will eat your soul"

2:
Goth: "I'm bettr thon u"
Me: "Of course you are"

8👍 14👎

Digital Purgatory

Digital Purgatory is a racist and conservative webcomic created by apparent neo-nazi, "Nix Kartel" and drawn by a slew of different artists. The main character, surprise, surprise, is Nix. That's right, another sub-par webcomic where the author inserts himself as a witty individual, trapped in a world of idiots. Essentially, Nix (the IRL version, that is)read Dilbert and decided that he would make a hack rip-off, coupled with Nix's inability to create comedy, and added with a dose of anti-liberal bias and a double-dose of aforementioned racism. His extreme right-wing view was exposed when he wrote a short story arc where the company that Nix works for, inexplicably hired an illegal and uneducated Mexican workforce to work with computers. Sadly he failed to realise that illegal Mexicans tend to do LABOR work for less money, work that most Americans citizens will eschew anyway. His Mexi-phobia came to it's hight when all the illegal immigrants in the story were also drug dealers.

In between these bouts of ignorance and fears, he does little satirical news segments of liberal news. Again, it is another excuse for Nix to bash liberal views by warping them and twisting them around. A prime example of this occred when the news crew began blaming Bush for Hurricane Katrina, an impressive effort on the young neo-nazi's part to divert attention from the fact that Bush was criticized for his near total lack of action which lead to a complete breakdown of law and order in New Orleans. By the way, if you, Nix, happen to come across this entry, your little misconception/lie has been pwned by the Wikiphiles: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_of_government_response_to_Hurricane_Katrina

But back to the webcomic at hand:
Of late it appears that all the old comics have been deleted from the site, probably because people discovered that there were webcomics out there that did not encourage intolerance and racial bigotry.

Do not attempt to read the comic unless you enjoy being fed racist, unfunny, Dilbert rip-off garbage.

Examples of racism is currently devoid from the Digital Purgatory, as he has deleted all but his most recent work. His forum, however, is rife with neo-cons and is ripe for the trolling... go go GO!

8👍 17👎

Feminism

Feminism is a word that means equal rights for women. Technically, most feminists should actually be called humanists. I'll ignore that since it was, and to some extent still is an important movement. Way back in the day, life was pretty damn bad for women everywhere. No vote, no driving, you know about that stuff anyway. Eventually, much of the inequality dissappeared, thanks to the hard wark of early feminism. Sadly some still persist to this day. Fortunately, most people accept that such social changes are bound to be gradual, and eventually, true equality will exist. This is the type of world that everyone should strive to live in, not just feminists. But alas, in more recent times, there has been a growing movement of "militant feminism". This is alternatively known as female chauvenism, and feminazism. These people often demand MORE rights than men have, usually by arguing that they are superior to men and blame men for everything. Yes men started wars. Are you saying that women wouldn't have? Hilary Clinton supported the Iraq war. Margeret Thatcher sent troops to the Falklands. To propagate such a view on men is a sexist view you chauvenist pig-bitch. Such a view is not part of feminism, or at least it's original usage of the word. These people are betraying the women who fought for their rights. Possibly the worst part about them is that they are either the prevalent female authors and commenters for feminism on urban dictionary, or that these women are denying the existence female sexism that has taken seed among the femism movement. I've talked to these people. In real life. Not on the net. They DO exist.

Feminist of the militant variety(Yes, she actually said this):"It's not fair to generalise women, men allways do that" and "men shouldn't have any say in abortion"

Me:"I'd say TITS OR GTFO, but you're pretty damn fuck-fugly)

Feminism gets a bad name because of these asshats

3022👍 1911👎

power metal

Power Metal:
A cheesy and fast paced sub-genre of metal
Pronounced: Pow-ur met-ahl.
Power metal is a sub-genre of speed metal known as "true" metal by nerdy teens who only listen to it and ignore most other metal bands outside the genre (the irony, of course is that they limit themselves to one subgenre of metal and thusly earn little to no respect from other metallers, as most metal fans love a broad spectrum of metal, and indeed, other music genres, such as blues, jazz, etc), and "cheese" or "bullshit" metal by everyone else and is also reviled by most thrash/death/black (actual) metallers for it's lack of substance and wanton insertion of elves, dragons and other nerdy nonsense into lyrics. Broader fans of metal despise it because they fear people judge metal on the cheesey songs by these bands. This is not to dismiss the genre entirely, as it contains many talented musicians, however, the most (undeservedly) popluar band in the genre, Dragonforce (or, alternatively, Fagonforce) gives the genre a worse name than it deserves, what with it's legion of pre-teen to mid-teen fanboys, frothing at the mouth over insinuations of artificially sped up songs, little variation between songs, terrible vocals, overrated guitar work and drummer of unnotable worth. People are, however mislead, into believing dragonforce is the b-all and end-all of power metal, just because it's on guitar hero. As much as power metal is disliked among many metallers, even among broader metal fans whose taste includes power metal, Dragonforce is often cited as being mis-representative of the sub-genre and is similarly hated.

Thrash/Death/black metaler upon hearing Dragonforce: "What the fuck is this dogshit power metal?"
"True" Metal fan: "This is the greatest band ever!!!!"
Thrash/Death/black metaler: "Ever heard of Wintersun, Carcass, Megadeth, Pantera, Sepultura, Children of Bodom, or In Flames (Old, ie, before they became metalcore suckage)?"
"True" Metal fan: "What's that?"
or alternatively: "I don't like those bands, they're too heavy" (in the metal community, this is akin to declaring you are a pussy and will invariably leave you without any credability on your musical crticism ability)

If the "True" Metal fan gives the first response, often, they are allowed to hear said metal examples, and can be converted on the spot. However if the response is the latter, give up and leave. Such people are often too young or worse, musically stunted, especially if they are only capable of liking one sub-genre of metal and the worst band in that sub-genre.

49👍 195👎

Death Metal

Death metal is one of the extreme genres of heavy metal, along with black metal, thrash metal and... well, they're the only other ones worth noting. Death metal has roots in 80's thrash metal, usually in bands like Slayer and Venom, however, many bands also have roots in Grindcore, such as Carcass, Napalm death and Bolt Thrower. The genre is thankfully under-aprecciated, owing to it's fast, distorted guitars, rapid druming and blast beats, and low, "growling" vocals. It is actually good that the sub-genre is unknown, because many bands in metal have history of selling out after they "make it". Metallica for example, have a huge history of pissing on their thrash fans with every new album since the black album. Carcass is probably the best example of a death metal band, as it covers genres associated with death metal: death metal, grindcore (or goregrind) and melodic death metal. Carcass also tends to be the best death metal band in existence. A recent trend in Scandanavia seems to involve crossing genres, Children of Bodom, for example, are said to be a mixture of melodic death metal, melodic black metal and power metal. Despite it's dismissal by the mainstream music industry, death metal has many talented musicians, the "death growl" for example is extremely difficult to master, guitars can be incredibly complex, especially in melodic and even more-so, technical death metal, drums are fast and the best drummers incorporate difficult and complex techniques. If power metal is for fantasy nerds, death metal is for people who drink whiskey and shit dynamite, not unlike thrash metal and black metal.

At the Gates
Notable death metal bands include (but not limited to):
Cannibal Corpse
Carcass
Children of Bodom
Bolt Thrower
Death
In Flames(early)
Napalm Death
Sepultura (early)
Wintersun

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