Cuntry

Not to be confused with COUNTRY (a defunct art embodied by George Jones, Hank Williams Sr., Waylon Jennings, & Merle Haggard), cuntry is noxious noise with all the lyrical heft & musicality of a pussy fart. Its prefab "artists" are pressed into one of the following molds:

Cowboy-Behatted Butt Puppets In Sleeveless Tees (Toby Keith, Lil' Kenny Chesney, Garth Fuckin' Brooks)

Or:

Strong Independent Women Who DAMN Sure Ain't A-Gonna Stand By Their Man (the Dixie Chicks, husband murder fantasist Martina McBride)

Their "songs" are concocted on Nashville assembly lines to the demands of oily, kinky-headed record company jews. The lyrics are calibrated to A:

Stroke the eggshell-fragile egos of stupid women:

I"Oh darlin', ah know ah've been a low-down dirty dawg. Please fuhgive me so ah kin come home 'n' paint yer toenails 'n' change the baby's shitty diaper..."/I

B:

Appeal to deballed males with empty "Redneck Rebel" bullshit:

I"Yeah, boy, me 'n' my buds're gonna grab us a keg, hop in our 4-by-4s 'n' git some mud on them tars - mebbe even shoot our guns in the air! 'Cause that's how we roll!"/I

The relationship of country to cuntry is like that of aged cheddar to month-old dick cheese. Avoid it at all costs if you value your life.

Cuntry girl fan in straw cowgirl hat & midriff-baring blouse: "I'm off to see Tim McGraw! He's, like, SOOOOO hawt 'n' shit! I can't wait!!"

Me: KA-POW!!

19👍 15👎

Hip-Hop

"Hip-hop" consists of the murderous mumblings of retarded, crotch-grabbin' gutter monkeys from da ghetto. While the rest of us drive rickety shit wagons & wonder where the rent money is gonna come from, these dusky artistes live in McMansions & cruise the Sunset Strip in Maybachs, instead of residing in the nation's Death Rows & morgues as Nature intended.

Thanx, Murray Rothstein!

Hip-Hop lovin' Wigger: "Yo dawg - you heard da new Fiddy? Dat shit is PHAT, nigga!"

Me: (pulling back the slide).....

6👍 18👎