Captain Obvious

when a person states something that is apparent, or restates something that has already been said

(after your girlfriend slashes your tires)...
Person A: FML....every tire is flat
Person B: Brah...your girl is really pissed!!
Person B: No shit!...thanks Captain Obvious

fuckshit

when people that are way too high embark on doing/saying things in effort to convince others they are crazy or mentally unstable.

After hearing voices for several hours and thinking I was losing my mind, I realized Steven was pulling some fuckshit&had hidden a cd player inside the basket full of laundry.