Raccoon

Raccoons are nature’s juggernauts. After doing research, I found a list of some of the best traits about them from a trustworthy researcher called “reccooneggs”, which is his birth name. (though they have many more special traits)

Reason 1: He protec but he also attac
Reason 2:They naturally regenerate limbs. Need to whip up a quick dinner? Just chop off a raccoons leg.
Reason 3: They’re obedient. Want someone dead? A raccoon will kill them James Bond style no questions asked.
Reason 4: Racoon Urine cures cancer
Reason 5: Theyre really good at video games. Are you a copper IV in rainbow six siege? They’ll carry you all they way up to diamond.
Reason 6: Need protection against someone with a gun? Raccoons are naturally bulletproof.
Reason 7: Raccoons can DESTROY any animal in a 1v1.
Reason 8: People see you walking a dog? They ignore you. People see you walking a raccoon? Looks like you just got a get-out-of-virgin-free card.
Reason 9: Raccoon feces cure hepatitis.
Reason 10: Just look at them, they’re adorable.

Dude I almost got killed yesterday. Thankfully I had my pet raccoon Ralph to save me from the shooter so my raccoon could lunge onto him and kill him!

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California

Shouldn’t even be allowed to be part of the United States of America.

Did you guys see how they don’t allow large magazine sizes in California? You think that’ll stop a bad guy from illegally using one?

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