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Å utruk-Nakhunte was a damn king. In fact he was the greatest damn king to ever live. Too bad nobody knows who the hell he was because he isn't in any history books.
*inserts dip into lip*
*leaves room to make speech
"He was a damn king, but Shutruk-Nakhunte ain't in no history books. Conquest without contribution is meaningless. How will you make an impact? How will history remember you? Don't become complacent hooah."
*walks back into room*
Nothing will ever top this one. We have reached the peak of human intelligence. The only way going forward from here as a society is down because the peak is behind us.
The Greatest Speech of All Time-
*inserts chewing tobacco into lip*
*leaves room to make speech*
*spits into bottle*
"Shutruk-Nakhunte, is anyone familiar with him? If not, let me tell you. He was a damn king, sovereign of the land of Elam, destroyer of Sippar, but Shutruk-Nakhunte ain't in no history books. You may ask why, well let me tell you! Great ambition and conquest without contribution is meaningless. What will your contribution be? How will you make an impact?! How will history remember you?!! Shutruk-Nakhunte, utterly forgotten, king of nothing. Thank you, everybody, don't become complacent hooah."
*walks back into room*
*audience stands in shock and awe at what just happened; some shit themselves, and the smell is atrocious*
*luckily, there's a few trash cans to catch the shit before it gets all over the floor*
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