judd-apatowed

The act of shoving a spoon in someone's butt crack (not the hole).

Why is there a spoon sticking out of Dan's underwear?

I judd-apatowed him last night after he passed out.

Oh, thank God, I thought it was stuck it in his asshole.

unrequited love

Unrequited love is like an erection lasting longer than four hours. You're in constant pain, it's incredibly embarrassing because everyone can see it, and it's too *hard* to get any work done or even leave the house.

"Omg, did you see that guy's unrequited love? It's so obvious!"
"Yeah, it's hilarious, why would he do that to himself??"
"I don't know, but he has no one to blame but himself."

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