Simp

A person (usually a guy) who tries waaay too hard to get the attention, love or sex from the girl they like.

In most cases: a) the girl doesn’t even know the guy enough; b) she doesn’t care the slightest; c) she is obviously not interested.

Don’t confuse simping with just being nice, simping is being too intense and over-the-top.

In September a lot of simps can be found in horny jail.

Jessica: Have you heard it? Pimp the Simp and his simp squad went simping a smoking hot redhead wearing leather jacket. Luckily Simp police led by captain Badass was nearby and intervened in time.
John Doe: Whoa! Were Pimp and Co sent to horny jail for simping?
Jessica: No, captain Badass was in a good mood, so she just fully restrained them and gave keys to the redhead after doing that “Don’t start now” dance.
John Doe: That’s brutal! How do you know all this in such detail?
Jessica: It’s simple - I am the redhead.
(Removes her blond wig and reveals herself in all fiery glory)
John Doe: (thinking) She is smoking hot, maybe I should simp her…
Jessica Redhead: (Uses her telepathic abilities to read his thoughts) Bad idea.
(Pulls out a badge showing that she is captain Badass).
John Doe: (Looks both intrigued and horrified)
Jessica Badass Redhead: (With a menacing glare and slightly grinning) I think we both know what happens next.
(Suddenly the ground cracks and from a chasm in a beam of light emerges Dua Lipa. She starts singing “Don’t start now”. Everybody is dancing)

Me: (to the waitress) This cocktail is nova! Gimme another one.