specsaver

a retail offer that appears to offer you something of great value for no extra charge but which really gives you something which will probably sit in a drawer and never be used.

2 pairs of spectacles for the price of 1 is a specsaver.
most spectacle wearers know that if they break their glasses they can revert back to their old pair as an emergency measure especially as a new pair can be made up in a few days.what usually happens is that the optician will try and use the free second pair as an opportunity to sell you a coating or tint which you will rarely, if ever, use.
if you visit the optician every 2 years you just end up with lots of unused free second pairs.

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jiggery smackery

this is a random selection of sweets,confectionery etc. asked for when the person wants a sweet treat but cannot decide exactly what they want.

''would you like some sweets/candy ?''
''yes please''
''what kind do you want ?''
''eh,just get me some jiggery smackery''

buckled halfer

faulty human being.incapable of carrying out tasks,both physical and mental,expected of average conventional person.
not applicable to those suffering from diagnosed medical conditions.
can be either a temporary or permanent state of being.
term of abuse used to indicate the ridiculous behaviour of an individual.

only a buckled halfer would tweet pictures of their own genitals.

what kind of buckled halfer are you?