Pardon The Interruption

One of cable television's most popular sports programs, this two-man debate show starring Washington Post columnists Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon can be found on ESPN weekdays at 5:30PM (When not pre-empted by golf, which makes me want to gouge my eyes out).

The beginning of the show entails a rundown of about 5 or 6 top sports headlines which are pretty much the most important articles of the day.

After the first commercial break, they'll spend "Five Good Minutes" with an athlete/coach/sportswriter, who which they'll discuss the very top sports story of the day (if its about golf, I generally take a leak-- get the picture about my sports priorities?).

It is at this juncture that they'll play their weekly "game" like "Food Chain," "Over/Under," or "Toss Up," (which is not really a game, but somehow Tony always wins. Hmmm...) or answer fan mail during "Mail Time" or assume the roles of prominent social figures in "Role Play," or as Tony likes to call it, "heads on sticks."

Finally, they'll note some daily landmarks in sports history and have Stat Boy, Tony Reali, read off the errors that each of the journalists made. At the very end, we have the "Big Finish," where both make rapid-fire comments about stories that did not merit a two-minute segment on the show.

- Tony is a shameless shill for his books, television show, or basically any project that he's attached to. Between random Beano Cook references, you'd most likely find him praising "his boy," former camp counselor-turned-basketball coach Larry Brown. Other times, he'll mention how he takes his son golfing or his alma mater, SUNY Binghamton.

- Wilbon is a Chicago boy who graduated from Northwestern and lives and dies with the Cubs and the Bears, and at one time, Michael Jordan's Bulls of the 1990's. Due to his frustration in the performance of the hometown sports teams, you'll often find that Wilbon has no reservations in suggesting that anybody acting like a "dope" or a "fool" be given a prompt "beatdown," and in more extreme cases, the "Bartman beatdown!" Just as Tony sings the praises of Larry Brown, Wilbon has an infatuation with Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan F. McNabb, who is a Chicago native.

All in all the show is always highly entertaining not just because of the sometimes antagonistic relationship that Kornheiser and Wilbon have, but rather their chemistry and friendship involved.

Wilbon: "Pardon the interruption, but I'm Mike Wilbon; Tony-- you'll never guess who deserves a BEATDOWN today!"

Tony: "Obviously its not going to be Larry Brown, because he coaches 'em up! Maybe its your boy, Donovan F. McNabb?"

Wilbon: "No! Its Bartman, you fool!"

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Cumbo

When a man will ejaculate into any conglomerate dish (i.e. pepper steak, chop suey, jambalaya, or gumbo) in order to enhance the flavor of the meal. The mixed product has then become "cumbo." Not everybody's cup of tea, but is a good indicator of how much your girlfriend/wife likes the taste of your particular semen.

"I figured that since we have broken out the strawberries, hot fudge, and whipped cream for the dessert portion of our sexual escapade, dinner would be the perfect occasion for me to splooge in your food and create some gourmet cumbo. That's Grade-A Quality shit we're dealing with here, so be sure to clean off your plate."

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bollock face

one who has a face like a mans testi sack / scrotum.

Oi, bollock face your face looks like a bollock!!!

dave, you bollock face......

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beliedat

1) The hip, new way to confirm something.

2) The sound you make when saying "believe that" quickly and with some moxy.

3) Popularized catchphrase used by the head of Thuggin' & Buggin' Enterprises, Mr. Theodore R. Long.

"Beliedat, playa..."

"Beliedat, playa... holla."

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Scooter

Introduced into our lives during FOX's nationally-broadcasted game between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees on April 16th, 2004, this unwelcome gift from Satan took the form of an animated baseball of the same name.

"Scooter" was designed for the purpose of teaching those new to the game the finer points of pitching, hitting, and fielding, but ended up coming off as just another hokey "Barney-like" gimmick, inciting viewers across America to change the channel or throw something at their television sets when he appeared on their screens multiple times throughout the game. FOX Sports Broadcasters Joe Buck and Tim McCarver will drop everything in mid-sentence if necessary so as not to interrupt Scooter, while baseball purists around the world collectively bang their heads against a wall.

Often compared to "Poochie" from the "Itchy & Scratchy Show" when analyzing the level of annoyance TV watchers feel whenever his character appears on the screen.

Unidentified sources say that there's currently a $1,000,000 bounty on the head of whichever FOX executive actually thought that "Scooter" was a good idea to unleash upon the unsuspecting general public. Currently, no one has stepped up to claim "Scooter" as their creation (or more appropriately, excretion), though rumor has it that three board members of the FOX Sports Programming Committee have filed for passports since "Scooter's" debut appearance.

"I would have disemboweled Scooter without any hesitation whatsoever, but then I realized that he is only an animated baseball. Therefore, I will just have to settle for swinging a sledgehammer into my television screen and pray that FOX would get the message by now."

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61

1) When you need scissors, this is the number you cry out when you're having a nervous breakdown. Or, more feasibly, one of the side effects to having a massive computer glitch. (According to "Colonel Campbell" in Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, its also common knowledge to react in amazement when the great purple stuffed worm in flapjaw space, with the tuning fork, does a raw blink on Harikari Rock.)

"I need scissors-- 61!!!"

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Moongoose McQueen

The eccentric lead singer of the heavy metal band Fozzy. Has garnered a reputation for being somewhat of a prima donna offstage, but his track record of giving amazing performances in front of crowds cannot be discounted. Once, in July 2002, got into a fistfight with a senior citizen on stage and ran away, leaving the geriatric old man to destroying expensive sets of cymbals and guitars. In early 2004, filmed a commercial endorsing the energy drink YJ Stinger. Heavily rumored to be the same person as WWE wrestler Chris Jericho, but no evidence has proven such a claim up to this point.

"Love me or hate me, daddy-- Moongoose McQueen and Fozzy are HUGE rock stars!"

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