COK

The #1 fantasy football trophy anywhere. Every player craves to get their hands on the COK at the end of the year. It’s name comes from the family league that created an acronym for a beloved aunt’s famous plee after being teased: “Come On Kurt!”

The annual COK was awarded to cousin Timmy. All the other family members in the league are craving the COK but Timmy yields it like a true champion!

Greg Finger

When you shoot firearms a lot, and have other injuries to coincide, you can sometimes develop “Trigger Finger”.

Trigger Finger is also called: trigger thumb and is a condition in which a finger gets stuck in a bent position and then snaps straight.
Trigger finger occurs when the tendon in the affected finger becomes inflamed. Those most at risk include women, people with diabetes or arthritis, and people whose regular activities strain their hands.

When a male, career, shooter gets it it’s called “Greg Finger.”

Travis: “Hey Hank, did you hear about Greg getting trigger finger?”

Hank: “No? You mean he got Greg Finger, right?”

Travis: “Yup, from all that masterbating he does before going to the range.”

Wiffle fiction

When cousins make up shit about a fictional family Wiffle Ball game where the Lord of K’s, the oldest cousin, the master of gong clang, the ultimate curve wizard, the downward draft doink,…somehow gives up a dinger on the Ocean City beach, to a cousin that has always been only aloud to fetch foul balls and other errant balls in the dunes.

It never happened. It’s fucking family fiction.

“Fucking Damon and Fran keep spewing Wiffle fiction about an imaginary game in Ocean City in like 2007….when The Maestro of Crooked Slurves was at his peak performance and a potential selection for the US Olympic Wiffle Ball Team. Steve did not stick a wicked Whammy over the wall and was surely sat down by a gonk of the gong sitting in the beach chair.

Knock this shit off- stop dreaming- show the damn tapes if this happened or get your assess to the beach to run a little reenactment of the alledged story - 14 years ago.

Complete Horse-shit!”

One Ball Court

A location on Google maps where a cousin in a large Irish Catholic Family lives. The court is shaped like a single nut-ball sack with a big cock.

This cousin receives “bag of Dicks” gifts and “I’m gay” gear from the other members of the SFFL fantasy football league.

Damon loves living at One Ball Court in Gloucester County, NJ! He will never move.

Cousin Damon got beat by cousin Fran again in fantasy. Under Rule 2018:005, Fran now has the right to bust Damon’s balls all week.

As punishment, Fran mailed a 300 pack of “bag of dicks” gifts to Damon at One Ball Court.

None of us can figure out why Damon moved his family to a court shaped like a uni-testical hanging from a really long cock. Guess he wants a lifetime supply of those bags of dicks!

Ashley brows

When a girl shaves her eyebrows off so she can draw in or stick on new ones that look totally different on her face.

Ashley Brows are usually angled at least 45 degrees and if they came together would look like the C7 Chevrolet Corvette symbol.

Ashley Brows can make you look mean or like you are really focused on a person to the point of straining your eyes, even though you may be completely relaxed in reality.

When Ashley Brows are over widely opened eyes where you can see white all the way around the iris, they are called Mings - because Ashley Brows. An make you look like Ming the Merciless from Glash Gordon.

“Yo, when Steve took Ashley to the Tampa Bay Lightning game- she donned her Ashley Brows. It took her 1 hr to shave off her natural eyebrows and pencil in some Mings.”

Steve is a flyers fan and wore his old #1 Bernie P jersey, while Ashley wore her all Blue Stamkos, #91 jersey. Steve had to tell
Some other flyers fans at the game to knock it off when they kept calling Ashley “Flash” when TB scored. Steve had to clarify that it’s not Flash but Ming the Merciless…an easy mistake with the big lightning bolt on the front of Ashley’s jersey.

blasracephemy

the act or offense of speaking sacrilegiously about a racially sacred things; as a joke when in the company of really close friends of relative different races. profane talk amongst ball busting, close-knit friends to test boundaries of jokes about their race.

Blasracephemy does not occur outside friend circles that allow the topic being ball-busted to occur. Tolerance amongst friends is key as blasracephemy is actually a loving way of showing respect and admiration in a way normal human interaction out of the “circle of trust” would not understand.

I almost mistook the blasracephemy between Eugene and Fran the wrong way when Fran was ripping Eugene’s appearance as a result of his Amish heritage. But then, Eugene shot back at Fran’s gay tendencies to eat cock candies as part of his Irish-Catholic upbringing. After they high fived each other and laughed - then I knew they were just busting balls.

I wish other people would stop being so sensitive and find a funny way to show thick skin about sensitive topics; and see the best in people the way Eugene and Fran do.

Weekend at Bernie and Steve’s

When the cousins all meet in Tampa and want to have a good time- and they end up dragging a dead weight cousin around all week.

Damon and Terrence flew to Florida for a Weekend at Bernie and Steve’s! Damon didn’t want to go to the strip club though because he was scared his wife would kill him - so Terrence has to drag him around all weekend