drama cryptonics

Speaking in a way that maximizes drama, but avoids sending any real message. A person speaking drama-cryptonics will use lengthy adjectives, but then not have time to say what is wrong, leaving the listener to guess what is wrong.

"I haven't heard from Joe is he ok?"
"I don't know, he sent me 6 texts telling me how terrible he feels but didn't have time to tell me what's wrong. He is sending me nothing but drama cryptonics."