Granola

A “ Granola” can be described as a Vegan, Organic, Non-GMO, BPA-Free, Grass Fed, Grass Finished, Dairy Free, Nut Free, Soy Free, Lemon Wedge Deodorant wearing overly environmentally friendly non-hippy-but-also-a-hippy-at-the-same time stereotype (Think hippy minus the drugs and the tie dye.) Granolas often smell like curry and likely live in an off-the-grid tiny house in the middle of some field they probably don’t actually own. In said tiny houses in an effort to save the climate, they likely redirect their “all natural toilet waste” from their glorified port-a-potty into their veggie compost to later use as “natural” fertilizer. Granolas often dress in an outdoorsy fashion that also resembles that of a well dressed hobo. It is not uncommon to identify a Granola wearing Birkenstocks, Athletic Shorts, Camel Back backpacks, North Face Jackets, and more regardless of whether or not they take frequent hikes. Granolas may also be seen driving a Subaru Outback with several decals on the back windshield that often refer to climate change and world peace.

I love Jan but after her month long getaway in the deep woods of the Rocky Mountains, she turned into a total granola!

Acoustic

An adjective describing someone of low intelligence; someone whose mental capacity is so low that you could knock on their head and hear an echo.

I’ve had so little sleep that I think I’m becoming acoustic.