Couch Ghost

The profile of one's body (predominantly the ass cheeks) that is left after getting up from the couch or their preferred chair after a long stint of inactivity.

Typically found in the wake of heavier-set individuals getting up for more Mt. Dew or seen as a Dorito-crumb outline on the gaming chairs Weebs watch anime in.

Not to be confused with the ass-print you leave on a chair when sweaty.

"Damn, the ass profile of Jack's couch ghost is super noticeable after eight hours playing Ghost of Tsushima!"

Cybernetic Procrasturbation

Willful and enjoyable procrastination that is predominantly performed through the use of internet-based sources of distraction. Basically, anything electronic that holds your attention from completing necessary tasks.
i.e. social media, Reddit, shopping, and gaming (vidya).

"I wasted four hours on cybernetic procrasturbation today and now I can't finish this report for my boss on time!"

"Zach is the worst at handing in papers on time because he is always cybernetically procrasturbating."