Yellow Pages masturbation

Female masturbation without the use of any implements, using one's fingers instead. From the Yellow Pages catch-phrase "Let your fingers do the walking".

Monica didn't own a vibrator, so she satisfied herself with Yellow Pages masturbation.

Second-hand stupid

The feeling that you are getting dumber by the minute, not from the beer, but from the stupid person near you that won't shut up.

"The second-hand stupid from Billy's girlfriend is frying my brain. I can't think anymore."