February 19

It is well known that all children birthed on this day are destined to be raging homosexuals unless able to dunk on a 10ft goal by the 6th grade. No exceptions it’s just the facts.

Doctor - “My deepest apologies ma’am your son is due February 19 and your genes aren’t likely to give him any ups”

Mom - “Oh fuck oh shit... my little boy’s gonna be a fruit and there’s nothing I can do... I guess it’s time to bring out the vacuum...”

17👍 13👎

shrimp

(verb)
- to be forcibly shoved in between a bed and a wall against your will

-“Ow I just got totally shrimped by my girlfriend Hannah, I’m stuck!!”