Iron Ranger

A person indigenous to Northeastern Minnesota. These are a special breed of persons. Some extract iron ore from frozen rocky ground regardless of time or season. They cut holes in the ice and fish defiantly in the face of winter, and drink enormous amounts of beer because the drinking water is rust-colored and smells like dead fish. They are unsurpassed in their winter driving skills because the roadways are only ice-free 3 or 4 months out of the year. If you see one driving badly, they are doing it on purpose to annoy you because they don't personally know you or your Grandmother. School is almost NEVER canceled. In this place you can pump your gas FIRST, THEN go pay for it if you choose. Dishonesty on "The Range" typically ends in being treated like a deer or fish- in season of course. In the summer, the mosquitos are big enough to abduct a small child or steal your wallet. You will see people wearing t-shirts when there is still snow on the ground.
You can hitch-hike here and actually get picked up. Snow-shoveling, firewood, pine trees, porketta, deer sausage and Hockey as far as the eye can see (in a blizzard).

Some goofy Iron Ranger stole my truck, then brought it back 2 hours later with a full tank and a six-pack dontcha know...

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Ignoranus

A person whom basks in willful ignorance from the perspective of an asshole.

That polititian is a real ignoranus. He only crossed the road because he was stapled to the chicken.