Mexican Shitoff

When you're trying to take a dump at work, and someone is in the stall next to you trying to shit too. Neither of you wants to be the one to stank up the bathroom so you sit there squeezing your buttcheeks together.

Mary Sue and I were in a Mexican Shitoff in the bathroom.

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sweet baby jesus on a lawnmower

An exclamation when everything has gone to shit. I.e., your crazy coworker who was just fired has returned to the office with a handgun.

"Sweet baby Jesus on a lawnmower, it's Ahmed and the crazy mofo has a gun!"

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Snowtard

People who freak out when it snows, forgetting how to drive their cars and generally acting like retards. This typically happens when it snows in the South, or when some fool from Florida visits Ohio in March.

There's 1/2 inch of accumulation and the snowtard in front of me is going 10 miles an hour.