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A person who continues to drive at 25 miles an hour for three days after a snowstorm in spite of the roads being totally clear of anything
Boss: Why are you late for work?
Me: I followed a snowtard who doesn't realize the snowstorm ended three days ago
Boss: What you gonna tell me about a flat tire next?
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The way people in the South act when there is even one snow flurry in the air. Running to the store to stock up on bread and milk, driving on the interstate 20 mph under the speed limit with their flashers on.
Man, the weather man predicted snow. I'm not ready for all these Atlantans to act snowtarded!
n. Snowtard, v. Snowtarded, adj. Snowtarded pejorative.
A snowtard is a driver who, when introduced to a snowy/icy environment will act entirely inappropriately.
There are many ways in which you can express your self as a snowtard, some are more dangerous than others.
The most common and harmless snowtard is one who simply avoids leaving his or her house at the sight of snow, he or she is most likely to become a problem when calling you and either flaking out on previous plans or asking you for help in the form of transportation.
Another type of snowtard is considerably more visible, this is the moron you'll see spinning his or her tires for the sole purpose of destroying them. This type rarely goes very far and will often abandon their vehicle in the middle of the most heavily used arterial road because of a flat tire which he or she probably can't even change.
The final type of snowtard that I will be explaining today is the maverick type; this moron has a fairly decent vehicle equipped with AWD, traction control, snow tires, etc. and has come to the conclusion that they are completely invincible to snow. You will notice this person getting as close as possible to your rear bumper honking and beaming their 10,000 watt xenon lights into your car like a fucking UFO, when they finally get over the superiority of showing you how slow they think you are they will pass you and proceeded to go twice the speed limit. You will later find their car upside-down in a nearby ditch as the maverick snowtard doesn't understand the new difficulty created by the snow.
"Jesus, look at the sparks coming off that guy's chains, he must be snowtarded"
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People who freak out when it snows, forgetting how to drive their cars and generally acting like retards. This typically happens when it snows in the South, or when some fool from Florida visits Ohio in March.
There's 1/2 inch of accumulation and the snowtard in front of me is going 10 miles an hour.
Those who have no clue how to drive/function in the snow, especially near Ft. Drum NY. These people are usually of southern origin
"OMG, I'm only going 55 and the car is sliding everywhere!"
"Dude, are you really that snowtarded?"
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