Random
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Random
Being at your rock bottom living in your office closet, jerking off with a limp dick and the cum lands in a pile of cereal dust that you had dropped two days ago.
Hey! Have you seen Bob lately?
I heard that he fell off the wagon in is now jerking off onto Lucky Charms.
The ability to find people to be SO much prettier after a few Modelos.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Donât leave with that chick! Sheâs missing some teeth and she has a unibrow! Youâre suffering from the Modelo Effect.
A hickey from a person with a gap between their front teeth so large that the result resembles a lobster.
Lara grinned and Landon giggled ⦠Kevin caught a glimpse of his fresh lobster hickey and knew they were dating.
An orgasm so intense that the fireworks in my brain went from bright gold to a Lisa Frank vintage 1980âs rainbow unicorn Trapper Keeper cover!
Neal: Holy fuck, Amy, whyâd you stop sucking my dick and started laughing hysterically?
Amy: (between sobs of laughter) Because I just had a Lisa Frank Orgasm. It was the rainbow Unicorn! Mid 1980âs.