Kirsty

Name given to spunk dumpsters from Birmingham. Kirsty’s averagely spend three quarters of their life on their knees and are known to be huge Star Trek fans

“Dude did you check out that Pornhub vid I sent you of that girl getting dicked by 6 guys at once? She looked like she was more airtight than a submarines hatch!”

“Yeah man! She was a right Kirsty”

MC Kontribe

The best and hardest MC in the universe.

His bars have so much fire in their lyrical content and delivery that every microphone he’s ever held has melted and multiple P.A’s have been incinerated.

Fortunately for the managements sake the venues he’s booked at usually survive. This is because the flames are swiftly extinguished by the dripping undercrackers of a sea of star struck screaming fan girls who pack out every dance floor he stands before.
It is well documented that the end result of him touring his first ever E.P was 17 major accounts of arson so unfortunately not all where so lucky.

During an interview The Prodigy once even explained that he was the sole inspiration behind their hit track ‘Firestarter’ and it was a tribute to his amazing career and talent.

At age 5 he wrote and performed his first track which was so quick it still makes Eminem’s ‘Rap God’ (another tribute) and Ocean Wisdoms ‘Walkin’ sound like they are being recited by an elderly man with a stutter who’s just injested his own body weight in ketamine, diazepam and Xanax.

Yo did you hear MC Kontribe is headlining the festival this weekend?!

That makes packing for it easier, all we’ll need is some flame retardant raving garms and our surfboards so we can ride over the Punani Tsunami to front left!

Scamp

Someone who always comes second place. Usually in 8 Ball Pool, driving scores or bicep size. An underdog who once enjoyed the lime light as a professional DJ but now stands alone in the shadow of first place legends.

“Look that dude just got his arse handed to him at 8 ball pool!. Must be a Scamp.”