Deloitte

A company that has taken the pimps and hoes business model to the corporate world. The directors and partners are the pimps at the highest echelons of the Deloitte hierarchy, followed in order of descending worth by Associate Directors, Senior Managers, Managers, Assistant Managers, Senior Consultants, Consultants and jnr. consultants. There are so many levels in this place that one would think they enlisted in the army - not surprisingly, its not too different from the army. When you join Deloitte you give up your identity as an individual and become a Deloittan - its not too dissimilar from being assimilated by the Borg. If you prefer to follow in rank and file then you will love Deloitte. If you aren't a complete tool when you join Deloitte, you will be as soon as you have spent a few months there.

Deloitte Culture
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Prides itself in a culture known as the "Deloitte Way" where you can get your friends and minions to vote for you and be recognized as a top 10 representative of the Deloitte Way values which include lying, cheating, manipulating your way to the top of the food chain. Employees at junior levels get treated like garbage. Being such a rank based organization, your title dictates your status at the company and hence everyone is always fighting and willing to stab each other in the back to get to the top. Pretty much everyone at the very senior levels of this organization are flaming douche bags with no integrity.

Deloitte Hierarchy and worth
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Partner: Top Dog
Directors: Kings and Queens
Associate Directors: Almost there
Senior Manager: Important
Manager: Almost Important
Assistant Manager: Competent but disposable
Senior Consultant: Senior pleb
Consultant: pleb
Jnr. Consultant: Apprentice pleb

Getting promoted at Deloitte
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If you aren't well versed in the art of brown nosing then you can all but forget about being promoted here.

How to succeed at Deloitte
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- Learn to kiss ass
- Give up your individuality, give up your own values and assimilate the Deloitte identity - you must become a Deloittan
- be aggressive, yes, you heard right be aggressive and take what you want
- Develop strong alliances with the cliques and groups in power quickly
- Don't trust anyone
- Be sneaky
- Leave your morals at the door
- Lie, manipulate, cheat...do whatever you have to to get ahead.
- Develop good relationships with your Development Facilitator(Coach) - they hold the keys to your future.

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