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When a male enters the room with obvious sented hand lotion following him around. You know he has just jerked off because men dont care about soft skin. Avoid hand shakes, high fives and games of red rover for at least 2 to 4 hours.
Bill: What smells like cucumber mellon?
Ted: I think Tim just rubbed one out.
Bill: Jerk-Off Hands
Tim: Anyone want a skittle? (extends palm full of delicious skittles)
3👍 5👎
when you fart and it doesn't smell right away, but when you move, the fart escapes either a blanket, a baggy pair of pants, etc. The space where the fart hides is called the "fartpartment".
Clay: I accidentally let one slip as i was falling asleep. When i rolled over 20 min later and i got a brief, but intense whiff.
Ruben: It must have been hanging out in the fartpartment
Any burp inbetween the time period of when someone gives a blowjob to when they brush their teeth.
Mark: I was laying next to my gf after she gave me a blowjob and realized she dicked burped on me
Justin: Gross. Dick Burp.
17👍 5👎
The day that your birthday shows up on all of your friends news feeds on Facebook. Also the day after you update your profile picture, information, quotes, likes and interests. The one day of the year that all your facebook friends you never talk to creep on your facebook to see if their life is better then yours.
Justin: You remember Hilary from school?
Brendan: Yeah, its her fb-day today.
Justin: Shes gaining some weight.
Brendan: Her boyfriend has a chin strap.
Justin: Well asleast she listens to the avett brothers
Brendan: I love hipsters