bladdermouth

Someone who talks absolute pish.

See that idiot over there? He is a total bladdermouth!

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pug the dog

To finish one's drink at the pub and go home to give the wife a shag. Used when a) one is full up with beer or b) one has run out of beer tokens.

Bloody hell man! I've run out of beer tokens. I will just have to go home and pug the dog unless you can give me a sub?

no-brain moment

When one speaks a thought and immediately regrets it, wishing their mouth had stayed firmly closed whilst being mercilessly mocked.

In the Tough Arms pub...

Me:
Thinks:
"WOW This place reminds me of the sixties"...

Says:
"Hey guys - let's finish our drinks, go to the park and put daffodils in our hair!!!"

Guys:
Mirthful scorn and abuse

Me:
Thinks:
"Fuck. I just had a no-brain moment..."