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Room Zooms

When someone is so shitfaced that the room is spinning.

Jodi: Oh my gawd... I'm soooooo druunk.... whooooo.... room zooms!!
Ralph: Not again. If you vomit on my airbrushed Supertramp couch cover again I'm really-
Jodi: RRRRAAAWWWLLLLLFFFFF!!

by PDXJohnny99 April 13, 2013

668πŸ‘ 115πŸ‘Ž


Zomsemble

Zomsemble is derived from...
1. Rob Zombie: filmmaker.
2. Ensemble: a group of actors a director picks for his/her film.

This term not only defines single project ensembles, it embodies ensembles of Rob Zombie's entire body of work as well.

Rob Zombie has an extremely keen casting ability for amazing, talented, and underrated actors in all of his films. Here are a few: Sid Haig, Bill Moseley, Malcolm McDowell, Sheri Moon Zombie, Danny Trejo, Ken Foree, Dee Wallace, Karen Black, William Forsythe, Brad Dourif, and many others.

Moe: Mr. Zombie has some of the best actors ever in his movies. His casting is... mind-blowing!
Waggs: Fuck yeah! The Zomsemble is completely killer.
Moe: I love his movies too.
Waggs: Oh... right. His movies are killer, too.

by PDXJohnny99 May 6, 2013

288πŸ‘ 152πŸ‘Ž


Jobmare

Those nightmares people tend to have related to their occupations. Often it tends to be a reoccurring nightmare and a supervisor is a prominant figure in the dream usually.

Wally recently started a new job as a master control operator at the local television station. He is the person responsible for making sure the television shows air perfectly. He is completely stressed out due to the fact that the job is hyper-technical and his work is being watched by thousands of viewers at any given time.
Now he's having jobmares. In these dreams he is constantly off-air and his boss either stands quietly behind him or screams in his face... and his entire shift becomes one major shitstorm and Wally's name becomes the source of constant putdowns around work. Then he wakes up.
He airs Headline News every shift at his job. The jobmares are ruining his sleep almost nightly. Last night he fell asleep at home with the tv on, then headline news came on and Wally snapped awake... thinking he missed his commercial break and ended up shitting the bed.

by PDXJohnny99 April 17, 2013

447πŸ‘ 208πŸ‘Ž


puppy parkour

Parkour: holistic training for humans.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.

When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.

Jaylene: oh... I'm so glad school is out. Let's watch tv. 
BOOM! 
Jane: what was that?? 
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or... 
Jane: I haven't seen him yet... 
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him. 
BAAMMM! 
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say? 
Jane: What breed is he? 
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.

by PDXJohnny99 April 28, 2013

577πŸ‘ 246πŸ‘Ž


Sesame Standoff

Whenever someone eats any kind of sandwhich of burger on a sesame seed bun, and once finished proceeds to pick and eat the leftover sesame seeds off the plate or wrapper.

Dawn: Okay... are you done with you're roast beef sandwhiches? Let's go.
Smitty: No way. Sesame standoff.
Dawn: For real? You embarass the shit out of me when you do this!
Smitty then starts picking every sesame seed off the wrappers.
Dawn: I'm never eating out with you again, dad.

by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013

432πŸ‘ 183πŸ‘Ž


Romzoms

RomZoms is short for Romero Zombies. The films, shows, books or any media regarding the post-Night of the Living Dead/ George Romero type zombie subgenre. These zombies shuffle slowly, groan, feast on human guts and animals... and DO NOT SPRINT LIKE THEYRE TRYING OUT FOR FUCKING TRACK AND FIELD!

Not to be confused with pre-Romero voodoo zombies either... a defining factor is voodoo zombies don't eat people alive.

Brandon: Look at these zombies running faster than this physically fit guy.
Brent: Well... they're not Romzoms. So who cares?
Brandon: But their tendons are ripped, they can barely function mentally, how... HOW??
Brent: They're just not Romzoms. No need to even compare.
Brandon: You're right, bro... Romzoms will always rule. Romero is the king.

by PDXJohnny99 April 12, 2013

361πŸ‘ 297πŸ‘Ž


Every Time I Breathe Air

A remark used about something that is ongoing, redundant, never changing, redundant and redundant.

Melanie: I hate this job. I hate everyone I work with. They're all backstabbin' cocksuckers. I hate my salary. I can't afford to feed my fish. It's your fault, you dick!
Melanie's boss: You tell me that every time I breathe air.

Zoe: Gosh, I'm sick of this new server here at work.
Waggs: It crashes every time I breathe air. No worries.

Melanie: I hate being sober. I hate getting high all day. I hate you, dick. You raped my dreams and let them die, you fucker. I could have been a dancer, cocksucker.
Melanie's son: Yeah, I know, mom. You tell me every time I breathe air.

Waggs: Dang, how many times are they going to show Empire Strikes Back?
Zoe: Its Spike TV. They show it every time I breathe air. Heck, let's watch it again. No worries.

Melanie: Fuuuuuuuuuck. I hate my spending problem. I hate that I have no money to spend. I hate all this stupid shit I bought. I hate this clutter. I hate being called a fucking horder all the time. I fucking hate you, bitch. Why didn't you get me that abortion?
Melanie's mom: Trust me I would have gotten my abortion if I had the money.
Melanie: Wait... what?? YOUR abortion.
Melanie's mom: Oh dear. Did I say that out loud?

by PDXJohnny99 May 22, 2013

203πŸ‘ 161πŸ‘Ž