Jack Sparrow Drunk

Drinking alcohol nonstop, never sobering up, and still accomplishing things most people can’t manage to do sober.

I can’t believe he robbed a bank, stole a corvette, and evaded the police after a high speed chase, all while swigging from a few fifths of everclear. That man sure was Jack Sparrow drunk.

92👍 5👎

"Hernia"

A term used by doctors to tell you your intestines are popping through your muscles. That you need surgery to fix the problem, and you’ll have to miss the trip you’ve been looking forward to all year because you cant walk anymore. Upon arriving at the recommended surgeon that is supposed to fix your problem, you will be told that you in fact do not have a hernia, and that some magical pills called antibiotics (an•tie•by•ah•ticks) will fix the cyst like infection you really have in a couple of days. At this point you will have spent all the money you have been saving for your trip on other things, like school supplies and visits to a surgeon. You will realize, that had you known what it was in the first place, you could have gone on your trip, and saved a lot of time and agony.

If it wasn’t for that moron of a doctor telling me I had a "hernia", I could have gone to Burningman.

9👍 16👎