fecal matter

Something or someone associated in some way with feces.

Overheard at the Senate hearings-
Senator McCain: "General Petraeus, What is your opinion on the Fecal Matter?"
General Petraeus: "Sir? You are referring to the situation in Iraq, sir?"
McCain: "What? What in God's name are you talking about?"
Petraeus: "You were asking me about the bad situation we are in with Iraq?"
McCain:"What the hell? No I wasn't, you nincompoop! I just shit myself. I'm 70 years old, and it seems to happen more and more at these damnable hearings. I just thought you might like the interesting design it made on my trousers."
Petraeus: "I'm not prepared to comment on that at this point in time, sir"
McCain: "Very good, Petraeus. That will be all... Where the hell is my nurse?"

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sleestak

A last final emptying of the penile shaft, often resembling grain tumbling off the conveyor, resembles also the introduction to the TV series Land of the Lost, when the humans are tossed over a waterfall with some bad editing.

I was able to prop myself up to get a good sleestak, covering her landing strip with my UFOs.

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brooking

A form of entertainment similar to cow tipping. It involves walking along a small creek with an unwitting companion, who is then shoved headlong into the drink. There seems to be an entire think tank devoted to the subtle art named The Brookings Institution. Visitors from Urban neighborhoods are often subjected to this chilling dip.

Janice could not wait to make out with James, but before they could get to the boathouse, he had brooked her. It was her first brooking. They say you never forget your first one.

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Ritchie Cunningham

To have intercourse while wearing only a sweater and sox, the way Ritchie used to on the classic "Happy Days."

Mary-Beth Allen insisted that Ritchie Cunningham take off only his pants and tighty-whiteys when they screwed. She insisted it made his Pinky Tuscadero seem almost twice as large. It soon became all the rage, thanks to the graffiti on the ladies room wall.

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Olympervert

Someone who needs to watch figure skaters and Girls gymnastics to splume.

The Olympervert tried to time his finish for the exact moment of her dismount, but he misjudged and fired off at the springboard. The Russian judge gave him a 9.4

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smash and grab

1)a form of petty thievery where the thief has a limited amount of time before he must flee the scene, and so maximizes this opportunity by breaking the glass of a storefront or display and grabbing as much loot as is possible in a single swoop. Often a shattered mess is what remains of the scene.
2)George W. Bush and Dick Cheney's Domestic and Foreign Policy. Substitute the words " the glass of a storefront or display" with either "Iraq,""The Planet," or "The American People."

1) The proprietors had it coming. They were just begging for a good ol' smash and grab.
2)Substitute "Iraq", "The Planet," "The American People," "our grandchildren," for the word "proprietors." in the above sentence.

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Euro Trash

an automobile made by Renault.

They rented a piece of Euro Trash, that managed to carry them around the country, but pressing half the buttons only caused things like mirrors and door handles to fall off.

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