Smoking Clam Syndrome

A common disturb that still affects too large of a part of the male humans.
The male individual with SCS starts showing symptoms of it when, dating some particularly hot broad, he starts losing touch with his own reality and himself as he used to be, and as he used to be known by his friends (yielding to any stupid tantrums she may come up with, skipping ballgames with buddies, paying attention to silly frivolous shit to please her...).

The condition, in its worst, degenerating forms, could bring to extremes such as jealousy driven paranoia, lost of any interest but trying (in vain) to satisfy any other of her requests, or even leaving a family with kids to pursue an hot babe that will certainly leave you broke or broken.

Mark: "hey man, Joe's completely out of control. Since he got with that chick, Shenonda, all he does is checking his phone, trying to reach her, taking notes of her gf's birthdays to appear nice and establish himself in her circle...".

David: "I know...he got the smoking clam syndrome just like a couple of years ago with that stripper from Diego".

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Hooker's phone

A simple, old-school mobile phone that still does just what a mobile phone is supposed to do: making and receiving phone calls and texts. Nowadays acquired at 7/11 stores almost exclusively by girls that have to migrate to another country to 'work' and need a budget handphone to be reached.

a.k.a. "a green button-red button" phone.

Joe: "hey man, what's that relic on the table?"

Will: "Thats my mobile phone, pal. I know nowadays everybody goes out with a TV in their pockets, but I can't stand it and all I need is my good ol' reliable hooker's phone. It never let me down".

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Twitter

A trick of the Devil in the form of an online platform provided to a fool for shouting about inanities other fools are already familiar with, being them their own as well.
The idea that twitting is actually communicating is becoming more and more the foundation of the modern, industrialized society, and it is eminently worthy of the superstructure.

Twitter samples:

@jerryo: fantastic article on social media @ respectyourbrainandgiveupyourcurrentlifestyle.com/quittwitting/howtostart

@myass64: great stuff buddy.

@ruththethruth: do you know where do they stream the semi finals of Curling finals?

@thebignothing: especially in Michigan

@poot: most def

(ad lib)

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Bullshit Facilitator

A Bullshit Facilitator is a certain professional, or group of them, that couldn't make it to the Big League in the western world, so decided to spice up his/their CV and venture somewhere else in one of under-development countries, hoping to be mistaken for a Guru and to get some business.
Generally bullshit facilitators have western looks, spiffed up attires, and they talk a lot of pseudo-jargon at length, trying always to sound intelligent and business-savvy by decorating their long speeches to clueless audiences with words such as 'collaterals', 'rationales', 'incidence', 'strategy', 'low hanging fruits', 'branding' and other buzzwords, mixed with complex diagrams that resembles oftentimes the structure of Dante's Inferno.
This, in terms of business, is like wanting to teach the theories of West Coast Offense to some 5th Graders playing touch football once a week on sundays afternoons.

Generally their fields of specialty are those gray zones in business where you can say everything and the exact contrary and not being easily proven wrong, such as, for instance, design, or, I dunno, branding and marketing.

They're facilitators because they make easier to absorb bullshit by mistaking shit for sound business advices and also in the sense that they make easier for other countries to produce that same bullshit that come from the Western World.

Lim Lin: "Hey! That guy that spoke at the workshop yesterday know how to wear his hat! He's so knowledgeable"

Darren: "mmmmmmm, to me he seemed nothing but another bullshit facilitator"

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Alfalfa Male

A kind of fellow some ladies in search of an Alpha male may end up with.
The key distinction here is that instead of being the man's man they were looking for (charming, confident and entertaining), deep inside he's fundamentally still a kid whom:

1) is capable to ending up in trouble for doing shit as dumb as hell.

2) hangs out with equally maladjusted, immature friends.

3) may often show more interest in shit like Wrestlemania on TV, playing videogames and fidgeting idiotic apps than in an actual night out with his woman.

From the character of the old TV Series "The Little Rascals", a.k.a "Our Gang".

Woman1: "How's Sheena? I heard she got a new BF..."

Woman2: "Yeah, whom she tended to saturday night at the ER after he opened his forehead on a tree branch by riding stolen bicycles pissed drunk with his friends. Got picked up by the cops and they had to give him ten stitches".

Woman1: "Wow, I thought she needed her Alpha male..."

Woman2: "Yup she did, and she ended up with her Alfalfa male. He's 37, by the way".

Woman1: (eye-rolling)

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Like you said

Like you said is a subtle and elegant way of putting your words in the mouth of someone. It requires first to 'cook' the person you are talking to with sharp logical arguments and an adamant brilliance in oratory skills, and then to make the poor dude agree to a point that he surely would resist under the threat of a gun in normal conditions.

Yankees Fan:

"Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla...and sure! That much is true and I totally give it to you (the other guy hasn't spoken in minutes), man: last season indeed we were pretty sloppy in those crucial away games, but then again, like you said, there ain't no team like the Yankees and there'll never be".

Red Sox Fan: (looking puzzled but mesmerized) "Uhm, yeah..."

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Let's play by clit

Occasional response of a busy career single woman with good income to a request to plan a night out with an attractive friend.
It is basically a complement to the widespread idiom "let's play by ear" and, as said, it is typical of ultra-busy women that once in awhile remember to be female in need of some good healthy butt-naked squat thrust activity. As they can't predict the sudden coming of the urge in order to plan ahead, and can't be bothered to, then "Let's play by clit".

Johnny on the phone: "Wazzup Martha, haven't seeing you in a long while honey..."

Martha: "I know! These presentations have been draining me out"

Johnny: "Wanna have dinner or something tomorrow night"

Martha: "Wish I could commit to that, sweetie. I have one presentation more to prepare and I haven't started yet. But then again, it's been way too long,so...you know what, let's play by clit. In case I'll buzz you, that OK?"

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