Marengo

Marengo, Illinois is a small town east of Rockford. Marengo's population is comprised of old people, Mexican immigrants, loser high school kids, and the ever-present "Marengo All-Stars"-- people that grew up in Marengo, never went to college, and will die in Marengo, still pretending to be 17. Most become pregnant, drug-addicted, or alcoholic within 3 years of high school graduation, assuming they were lucky enough to graduate. Marengo's high school loses nearly every athletic event they have the misfortune of taking part in. On any given night, the town is known to have at least two keggers in someone's barn or cornfield, which will inevitably be busted by the cops around 11 pm. The average lifespan for a resident of Marengo is roughly 40-45 years, with the most common cause of death being simple stupidity.

If you're in Marengo, get out now.

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