Monkey Moment

Momentary devolution to one's inner monkey through selfish, impulsive behavior often without forethought of the consequences. Often monkey moments are followed by insincere apologies.

Did you just grab food off my plate?
Sorry, I had a monkey moment.

Quit that! Did I say you could put it in my ass?
Sorry, monkey moment. Just let me finish real quick.

Did you just rob that convenience store?
Sorry, I was having a monkey moment.

I did not have sex with Ms. Lewinsky.
I had a monkey moment.

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cringe corner

A location that can be figurative or literal where you go when you are privy to something that is so cringe-worthy that you just want to pull a cloak of invisibility over your head and disappear until you regain composure.

That old man at the coffee shop made another racist joke and wondered why I didn't laugh. He and I were the only ones in the room and during the awkward silence, I just wanted to go to my cringe corner.