warm bread

A big fresh healthy shit.

Are you hungry? How about some nice warm bread?

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fogging icehole

A term associated with ice fishing where you are trying to find the holes that you previously drilled through the ice but can't, due to heavy fog.

Wife: "I thought you were going ice fishing today."
Hubby: "I was but some fogging icehole took my spot."

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doing the wild thing

Fucking your brains out.

Hopefully with a partner. (Not the inflatable kind.)

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elevator

What you need to get from the bottom of my dick all the way to the top.

Don't worry, there's a fence around the viewing platform on the top floor to keep anyone from falling to their death.

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bedspring chorus

The sounds made by the springs in the bed as you are screwing your girlfriend. Usually heard by people in the room directly below you, as well as people in adjoining rooms.

Hell, if the bed is old enough and you and her are fat enough, the bedspring chorus will be heard half way to the next county.

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elephant finger

To take it up the ass in a major way.

DumbGuy: "Dude! I just got raped by an elephant! My bunghole is streched out about a mile wide!
DumberGuy: "Wait a minute. Isn't an elephant's pecker long and skinny?"
DumbGuy: "Yeah, but he fingered me first!"

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praying at the porcelin alter

Similar to Driving the big white bus, only this time you are on your knees in front of the toilet puking up your lunch, everything you had to drink in the past 8 hours and part of your small intestine. You are also swearing to God or Jesus or the Devil or whoever that you will NEVER EVER NEVER get so fucking wasted again for the rest of your life, but probably will at the next party you are invited to next weekend.

Services beging following Happy hour.

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