Piney Porridge

The vital element of a mans sexual arousement. A nauturally produced pulp created to transport its commuters from Piney to Jiney ultimately used for procreation and to provide a natural release for the possesor of the organ, or in some cases, when a Jiney is not available, a sock/apple pie/anus can replace. Needless to say this particular porridge can be found around the general vicinity of the Piney, aka A Mans Reproductive Organ, aka Penis, aka pork sword, aka johnson, aka dinkle.
Warning: The combination of Jiney Juice and Piney Porridge can often lead to screaming whinging brats.
FOOTNOTE: 14 year old chav girls are often more susceptible to the receiving of Piney Porridge, however caution should be taken if you do not want to pay maintenance for the brat/child/thing for 18 years.

I shot my Piney Porridge all over her tits.

Goldilocks: This Piney Porridge is too salty!

The strange substance on Ben Stillers ear in There's Something About Mary.

Woman: I'm not swallowing that!
Man: But Piney Porridge is good for you, it keeps you warm and full right through till lunch!

7👍 4👎

Jiney Juice

The vital element of a womans sexual arousement. A nauturally produced lubricant created to prevent friction burns and maximise pleasure for the male genitalia, or in some cases, when a penis is not available, a strap on/dildo/Umberrto Gianni Shampoo bottle (other brands are available).
Needless to say this particular juice can be found around the general vicinity of the Jiney aka A Womans Reproductive Organ aka Vagina aka Pussy aka Front Bottom.

Mate I had the best pint of Jiney Juice last night?
Really? How was it?
T'was glorious!

5👍 1👎