Goygle

Contemporary Yiddish slang describing a non-Jew Googling something for a Jew trying their best to keep Shabbat.

“Will you please Goygle how long to roast a six-pound chicken so I don’t give everyone salmonella for Shabbat?”

Apples to Firetrucks

Claiming similarities that aren’t there. An apple and a firetruck may both be red, but to call them silimar is preposterous.

“I can’t believe Trump fired the PACHA Council, this can’t be good...”

“OBAMA DID THE SAME THING!”

“Yeah, because the people on that council weren’t doing anything and he brought new people in to revitalize it. You’re comparing apples to firetrucks.”