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Melted Candle

A “melted candle”

A woman in her mid 30’s, normally married with a couple of kids and an un-familiar husband (probably shagging the secretary, and she probably knows about it). Very dangerous cougar who is likely to go wild when out on the town for a rare night of freedom. The melted candle refers to her lack of fitness and an amount of weight gain from age/ child birth/ giving up on life. Can be referred to as an iceberg – Tinder/Facebook/ Instagram profile pictures only take in to account the top 12% of her mass – face and boobs - the greater mass is below the waterline/ waist and is hidden from general view.

A melted candle could be the same as above who has reverted to minor plastic surgery in order to fight the aging process. These procedures – Botox, Lip Fillers, tattoo eyebrows - often achieve the opposite effect and make her look older.

In conclusion, not a first choice but would be an exemplary one night stand, as long as you can escape the Travelodge before she wakes up and cries uncontrollably about her kids/husband/ fat arse/ pet cats. 7 Pint minimum.

Can be found on Hen Parties and in your local Cougar Pub

Went on a Tinder with a Melted Candle last night - smash and dashed - she was on a Hen Party

by PhilipHoldenez September 3, 2018

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