Flash rape

To be photographed without consent and having been blinded by the flash of the camera. To be left feeling disorientated and confused; like a rabbit in caught in headlights.

When I went to my friends wedding the other day I got flash raped by the photographer. Who knows what they are doing with my picture right now?

stare aids

An affliction resulting from the combination of multiple advanced strains of various venereal diseases, forming a ‘super STD’; which is transmissible merely by looking at another person. According to leading virologists there is, to date, no known cure for stare aids, so the next time someone gives you a filthy look seek medical attention…FAST!

She just eye fucked me so hard I should probably get checked out for stare aids.

Some say that stare aids is the result of an experiment that went wrong involving DNA from the Stig and Chuck Norris.

Doctor, doctor, I think I have something in my eye?
Probably just stare aids you filthy whore, DON’T look at me.

What? Stare aids isn’t a real disease?
Maybe you should look at your mum again and tell me otherwise!

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