Meat Head

A Meat Head is a really large land whale. There is only one of this species currently known to scientists. The Meat Head has a ham on the top of its neck, in place of a head. The Meat Head can be spotted strutting up the sidewalk, with its one and only homeboy. Since the Meat Head is insulated with so much blubber, it only wears a thin sweater even in the coldest of winter days, to stay cool and prevent the ham from cooking. When the Meat Head chooses a sweater it may live inside it for 6 months to a year, or until it rots of and needs replacing. The Meat Head lives a lonely life. It spends its time alone, or with its only friend. The Meat Head will never mate. Due to its fat to muscle ratio, the Meat Head does not have the strength required to perform the necessary movements. Also, being the only one of its species, the Meat Head would only be able to produce sterile offspring, similar to when a horse mates with a donkey to produce a mule. NASA is currently studying the phenomenon of Meat Head Orbit. Meat Head Orbit or MHO is caused by the Meat Heads fat ass, it is actually so large that it has its own orbit. The Meat Head uses MHO to its benefit, capturing anything that begins orbiting it, and eating it, making his orbit stronger, and able to pull in larger objects for consumption. NASA is concerned that at the Meat Heads rate of growth, it may implode into a black hole, sucking the Earth in.

-"Holy shit! A beached whale! We should call the coast guard!"
-"Nah, that's just a Meat Head. It's actually a land whale, you can tell be cause it wears a blue sweater and has orbit."

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