Woodstock, Illinois

Woodstock Illinois is a small town located in the far northwest of Chicago. It’s hightlight is their town square where Grounghog Day was filmed in the 90s. The town is a Mecca for illegal immigrants, wannabe gangsters, hippies, homeless, and drug abusers. The older residents, who’ve never left town, wonder how this quaint little town has gone to shit over the years. On weekends, the “downtown” bar whores run aloof; they’re diseased so beware of them. There are multiple Mexican restaurants.. hardly anything else. If you’re looking for a good taco, some cocaine, or an easy chick to take home just hop on the Metra train from Olgilvie Station and have them drop you off at the second to last stop from the end of the line.

Where are you from?

I’m from Woodstock, ILLINOIS.
Is that near Chicago?
Yes (easier than explaining it is nowhere)