poo-alyzed

When a person becomes unable to move, speak properly or concentrate because of the sudden onset of a potentially explosive bowel movement. Often caused by coffee and/or greasy foods.

I was talking to Tom earlier and he seemed ok, but then he tensed up and didn't make another move and his speech pattern became odd and erratic. He just stood there like he had a stick jammed up his butt and I'm pretty sure he was poo-alyzed as sure enough, he disappeared to the bathroom after a couple minutes.