guido

Guido

General: An stereotypical Italian-American male born and raised Catholic in New York or New Jersey.

Type I: The old, mafia, Tony Soprano guy. Knows a guys who knows a guy who can get your foundation fixed for cheap. Nothing beats his mama's meatballs.

Type II: The young male. Roots usually can be traced back to Sicilly, even though he has never left the country and doesn't own a passport. Nor can he speak more than a dozen words in Italian.

Interests of Type II (or "The Next Generation"):

-Cars: BMW 3 series and/or Honda Civic. Tints, a "bangin" stereo system that blasts music no one with taste wants to hear, one or more Italian flags, added rims, holes in the muffler.
-Women: Long hair that they touch too much out of insecurity, fake tan, implants, frosty lipstick, white jeans, gold earrings and/or necklaces with their name on it, easy to bed, giggles a lot, extra points if she is named Maria or Gina. Should put out after the first date or else is considered "a tease" or "a lesbian", yells a lot, gold diggers.
-Self: Going to the gym, being latently homosexual, too much hair gel or grease (large, defined spikes or slicked back), fake tan, date rape, weed, cocaine, gambling, Newport cigarettes, blue collar jobs, lacking culture, curses a lot, going to clubs in Manhattan, cash money (no wallet), gaudy jewelry, hanging out in packs, being short (read: Napolean complex), looking in the mirror, white caps and/or visors tilted the side, taking photographs while smirking with their chins raised up, being smug, starting every sentence with "yo", white clothes, wearing dress shirts that they don't tuck in, Adidas (white), talking loudly, anal sex with females, often getting into bar fights, gold watches that don't fit properly, polo shirts with popped collars, diamond earrings, spoiled brats, The Mets, proud ignorance, high school level education.

That guido with the popped collar just offered me coke for oral sex in his BMW 325i, but he put my eye out with his spiky hair.

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