Cuntjunctivitis

A condition in which a person uses a medical excuse to behave like complete, privileged dicks.

Karen: "I HAVE A MEDICAL CONDITION SO I CAN'T WEAR A MASK!"
Laura: "Is it CUNTjunctivitis?"

Condinoms

It's a portmanteau of the words condiment and nom.

More noms can be added to stress the deliciousness of condiment/food combination.

Ketchup and mustard are the perfect condinoms for bacon wrapped hot dogs.

OMG mayo on a burger is so condinomnomnomnom!

15👍 2👎

fartograde

Mostly happening to just women, it's when a fart travels forward between the labias, and out past the clitoris, instead of out the ass crack. Basically, a retrograde fart.

Michelle is sitting on the couch, eating ice cream, watching romance movies, and enjoying the feeling of fartogrades tickling her junk as they pass through.

Susan's fartogrades stopped being funny when they pissed off the cat in her lap.

MUNIcise

Noun. Activity that requires physical or mental exertion while chasing a San Francisco MUNI bus. Also, having to run to your destination because of late or missed MUNI buses.

Verbs: MUNIcised, MUNIcising, MUNIcises.

Sara: Going to the gym after work today?
Jane: Nah, I MUNIcised twice this morning trying to get to work on time. I've done my cardio for the day.

Necrotizing Karenitis

An acute disease which doesn't allow Karens to wear masks to public places, followed by chronic asking-to-see-the-manager to complain about their rights being infringed upon.

Symptoms may include:
Threatening to sue
Filming the scene on their phones
Posting video on social media
Flat-earth beliefs
MAGA hat-wearing

Calling cops on black folks for existing

Woman demands to speak to the manager after being denied entry to the supermarket without a protective mask during the Covid-19 outbreak, and threatens to sue, which indicates she's suffering from Stage IV Necrotizing Karenitis.

23👍 4👎

kittenfreude

Feeling general pleasure, often accompanied by giggles, derived from cats, or kittens' hilarious misfortunes.

Steve had a feeling of kittenfreude, when he scared the crap outta Fluffers with a cucumber.

haterain

When hate rain downs on you.

I posted a positive blog about Kim Kardashian's ass and a deluge of haterain flooded my post.

I posted a positive blog about Kim Kardashian's ass, and a deluge of haterain flooded my post.