Finlay McLachlan, also known as âSealâ, is a morbidly obese man who has been sighted around the Garstang and Inskip area molesting local dogs, leaving them completely paralised in the back legs.
He is also renoun for singing âWarâ by Edwin Starr preventing the great war of Garstang and Inskip in 1736.
Finlay was famous, making local headlines after destroying several local dry cleaners with his shit-soaked cargo shorts, destroying them in a temper tantrum after the workers refused to handle the diarrhoea drenched clothing.
âOh my days i saw Finlay McLachlan in my backyard and he was giving me cocker spaniel a rimjob!â
âOh really!?â
âYes he said âSEAL OUTâ then sharted in his pants!â