ass in the bag

A sure thing, especially when referring to a sexual conquest or goal.

Zaphod's got nothing to worry about with that bar maid, she's ass in the bag.

2👍 1👎

meat shield

A person who interferes with two other people having sexual intercourse simply by their presence. Essentially the same as a cock blocker.

Dude, I totally would have banged that girl at the White Deer, but her fat friend was a total meat shield.

7👍 30👎

Volcano shank

Prison slang for when you tamper with your cell mate's food so they die of diarrhea and it can't be traced to you.

My word. It seems Archibald was volcano shanked. Someone get a mop.