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A selfie while you're on the toilet taking a shit. Shit + Selfie = Shelfie.
"I'm shexting you right now, next I'm gonna post a shelfie to Instagram!"
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When you fart and shit comes out but you don't have the tools needed for evac to clean, breach, and bang the poop from your underpants. During the hardend stages, the poop then becomes a paste-like substance.
Zach has IBS and we found shart paste stains in every single pair of his underpants.