Tell-ya-commuter

Different then a work from home telecommuter, a tell-ya-commuter spends every moment of their work commute talking on their cell phone with a relative, friend, or neighbor about whatever random mundane subject pops into their mind.

Although they had no reason to talk, Jim could expect a call from Dave every day at 8:07AM as Dave became a tell-ya-commuter on his way to the office.

giddeous

When a person is obnoxiously happy, they are considered to be giddeous, a combination of giddy and hideous.

Beth was absolutely giddeous over her engagement. She was so happy it made everyone around her seem sad.

Phantom Wristband Syndrome

After wearing a paper wristband for several days it is common for a person to experience the sensation that they are still wearing a wristband even though it’s been removed. This sensation is called “phantom wristband syndrome “

Dave visited Jean everyday in the hospital. Each day he had to get a new color wristband to prove he was an approved visitor. After Jean left the hospital, Dave experienced “Phantom Wristband Syndrome” feeling like he still had a wristband on, even though it had been removed several days ago

butt coaster

A towel, or other absorbent material, used to protect a bed, bench, chair, etc., from the residue moisture left over on one's posterior after a shower, bath, or swim. The towel acts much like a coaster that is used to protect furniture, except this time it's protecting the bed from your wet butt.

"Can't you please use a butt coaster" said Jean, after I got our bed wet by sitting directly on it after coming out of the shower.

Peon-me bush

Any vegetation (tree, bush, flowers) that your dog insists on urinating on while out for a neighborhood walk. A peony bush, with it’s beautiful spring flowers, is a subset of the peon-me group of vegetation

Jean loved to get her exercise by taking her little dog Callie out for a walk every evening, but disliked the way Callie had to stop at every peon-me bush to relieve herself.

DyslexiAM

The act of setting a clock incorrectly by 12 hours (e.g setting the alarm for 7:00PM instead of 7:00AM)

Jean needed to get up at 6:00AM but accidentally set her alarm for 6:00PM and was late for work again. She tried to explain to her boss that she suffered from DyslexiAM, but she was fired anyways

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Call on line two

the excuse that is used during a conference call when the sound of a flushing toilet is heard in the background.

(sound of toilet flushing)
Bob: "What was that?"
John: "Sorry, I had to take a call on line two"

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