Rubik's Cube

A toy with over 413 quintillion possible outcomes. The greatest thing that man has been graced with

Chuck Norris is pretty epic with a Rubik's Cube

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My Uncle Ted

Refers to a creepy (often theoretical) person who is usually an uncle by genetics or marriage, else is a close male friend of the family who has a strong pedophilia feeling, and sometimes appears to be homosexual too. This always applies to adult men who have been accused or convicted of sexual violence/rape, child molestation, or bestiality, likes pornography, lives in a cave, is over 40 w/ a receding hairline, excessive back hair, ear hair, and nose hair, and/or gets a boner every time he see's a person under 12 years of age. These people should generally be avoided.

Person 1: "Would Chuck Norris be considered My Uncle Ted, considering he has banged every female in existence, which implies that he had a boner while around people under 12 years of-"
Incoming Roundhouse Kick: *POW*
Person 1: *Gasps for breath as he/she dies on ground*
Person 2: "That's what you get for questioning Chuck Norr-"
Incoming Roundhouse Kick: *POW*
Person 2: *Gasps for breath as he/she dies on ground*
Chuck Norris: "That's what you get for being in the presence of someone who has questioned Chuck Norris."
Incoming Roundhouse Kick: *FAIL*
Chuck Norris: "Nice try Mr T., but only I can do that." *PWNZ*

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elitist

Someone who tries to tell you that there are more nerves in your brain than in your gut, just because of something they found in a book, even though your gut's telling you they're wrong. Anyone who gets that reference gets a cookie.

Person 1:That guy's an elitist. He just tried to tell me *insert fact here* when really it's *insert bias opinion here*
Elitist:But *repeat fact* is true. Look here *opens book*
Person 1:ELITIST!!!! 3L337157!!!!!

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Kitteh

Kiy-tii v.
1. To win, or to succeed.
2. to attract large numbers

Kitteh... yeah...

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Possum

Possums are awesome as a result of their ability to rhyme their species name with the word awesome in the English language.

I heard that concert like that was pretty Possum!

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Atheist

A godless person who uses reason and science, rather than divinity, to explain his beliefs. Not to be confused with agnostics. These people can be identified either by how much they know about science, or by how much they burn when you put a match to their skin. Atheists burn like flash paper.

Person 1:That guy over there? He must be an Atheist. Did you see the way he just burned up in flames a few seconds ago?
Person 2:SHH!!! He's not an Atheist! that's part of a practical joke involving lighter fluid!

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Guten Tag meine Schlampe

A formal and overall polite way to greet a woman (or a group of woman by adding an 'n' to the end of Schlampe) in German. Literally means 'Good day my Lady.'

Ex.1

Jonny is walking to school. He sees a romantic interest talking to a group of her friends, and wants to gain her attention. As he walks past, he shouts, "Guten Tag meine Schlampen!"

Ex.2

Robert is looking to get a raise from his boss. Hoping to impress his superior, he greets his female boss by saying "Guten Tag meine Schlampe!"

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