Religion of thy mighty pickle

The true religion worshiping the true gods, the deities of pickle. ALL HAIL THY MIGHT PICKLE FOR HE WILL ASSENT FROM THE DILL HELL AND RECLAIM HIS THRONE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS!!! But we shall show mercy to strays and teach them our ways. The straggots will be punished!!!(Look up that word in urban dictionary)

True worshiper: the religion of thy mighty pickle is truly legit

Sinner: please let me go, don’t hurt my family
True worshiper: fine, I will. But thy will suffer a worse punishment for when the pickle of might returns. I gave you chance to save yourself. But you will wait foolish MORTAL

(2 weeks later)
Sinner: ITS A HUGE PICKLE!!! MY KIDNAPPERS WERE RIGHT
Sinner’s wife: we are going to a shelter of pickle worship with my sister and her kids. We will learn the pickle ways and be saved, but we will be servants for a brief amount of time. But that is fair. We are so grateful for there generosity and forgiveness to all.
Sinner’s son: Oh pickle, mighty pickle of the sky, please forgive our dumb ways
Sinner’s other son: We are so grateful for the generosity of the pickle monks and forgiveness to us sinners and strays from might pickle.
Sinner’s daughter: For give us!
(They arrive at the church)

Pickle Monk 2: Hello! Welcome!
Pickle Monk 1: All hail might pickle, for we shall let you into our teaching shelter that was once a Catholic Church
True worshiper: you, sinner, was warned. Now you must face the punishment. But your family will be clean with mighty pickle ness.
The sinner slowly implodes and almost dies a horrible death but survives and must live the rest of their life with the pain

This is a good example of when there is no character limit (:

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