MUFFIN

A Muffin is an English Gentleman who lives in Kew, in England. Muffins love to eat but usually just graze, they love chocolate tits and spend their whole lives unknowingly looking for a particular American girl. Muffins are beautiful, funny, brilliant , douchey, narcissistic, sordid, perverted and just amazing. If you come across a Muffin in your lifetime, you won't be able to pull yourself away. He is much too intoxicating, with one 'Oi,' you'll be hooked for the rest of your days. In a second he can give you the world but just as easily, break your heart. If something is wrong, he will fix it. If you are lost, he will bring you back. Muffin is the closest thing to Jesus Christ we have walking among us. If the world were Muffinless, my heart would stop beating.

Note: MUFFIN IS A DOM!

Jess: I love you, Muffin.

Muffin: I know, Sweetheart.

Jess: OMG, are you fucking kidding me?!

Muffin: What's wrong, my Darling?

Jess: 'YOU KNOW'?! YOU FUCKING KNOW?! OMG, I just said that, out loud and that's it?? Do you know how hard that was?!

Muffin: I fucking love you too, Baby.

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