Zion

Usually born in a tribe from Africa, also weapon of choice is a tracfone and sundial to out strategize his opponents. Thinks he's good at stuff but really is blinded by the low brightness setting on his tracfone. Sugar coats stories by saying he did something but really just was grounded because he got fined for going over the minutes on his tracfone. Asks for rides from friends because if he is home past a certain time he can't actually read his sundial.

Damn, what time is it?
Ask Zion, he'll sauce you the tracfone.

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